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By Ruth Tearle

When companies experience a merger, a takeover or a major restructuring exercise, we often forget how we are being affected.

We watch in disbelief as our mentors resign, our career dissolve, our friends leave, and ‘our world’ falls apart. We blame the company for causing us so much pain, but the worst pain is what we inflict upon ourselves.

5 ways to destroy yourself – if you’re a masochist.

We listen to our friend’s pain and we absorb their negativity into ourselves. Then we tell ourselves:

dead end sign

  1. This is a dead end. This is going to be bad for me and my career.
  2. I’m trapped. I can’t leave this organization.
  3. They all have power over me. I am not free to make my own choices.
  4. I’m not good enough. I don’t have enough skills, networks, experience…
  5. I can’t do anything until everything is clear.

Someone once said, that “it is not what happens to you, but how you respond to what happens to you that counts.” You could choose to make this time of turmoil the most valuable time of your life.

10 ways to protect and nurture your self.

Here are 10 ways you can protect and nurture your self.

  1. Treat yourself as though you were your own best friend.
  2. Write down a list of your own strengths. Both your strengths in this job, and in every other job/situation you have ever experienced. Stick your list on a wall where you can see it each morning.
  3. Know that what is happening to you now is simply a short detour in the journey of your life. Try to look at your life as a whole. Write a list of everything you’ve achieved so far in your life. Write a list of everything you still want to achieve.
  4. Keep a journal of your feelings. Writing down your feelings helps you to release the anger and frustration you are feeling. As you write down your feelings, you will find yourself also writing down your hopes and dreams. This exercise can help you to focus on what is important to you in the long term, rather than what is happening to you at present. Remember things happen for a reason.
  5. Don’t push the river. Wait for it to flow. Accept that it is okay “not to know.” You don’t always have to be in control. It is at times that you are confused, that new creative thoughts enter your mind. When you are ‘out of control’ you are also open to new opportunities.
  6. Use your time constructively. Don’t waste time complaining about the situation with others. Rather use the time to do something you’ve always wanted to do, but never had the time for. Learn a new skill. Read a book. Do some research. Meet new people. Network.
  7. go-surf
  8. Spend more time on hobbies. Remember you are more than the work you do. Expand your horizons. Take up new hobbies. Spend time with family and friends. Do something different each day!
  9. Keep positive. Read positive motivational books. Collect positive quotations and email them to your friends. Spend your time with positive people. Don’t fall into the trap of listening to, or feeding off other people’s insecurities.
  10. Listen to your inner self. It will tell you everything you need to be doing. Do some self development work. Read books on personal transformation. Keep a journal.

  11. Do one nice thing for yourself each day. Treat yourself. You deserve it!

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